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my big book of little catastrophes
I ate WHAT?
when cats have poor taste in humans 
22nd-Oct-2007 08:02 pm
i hate you
I've got this neighbor out back, up the little vine-covered hill we have there behind our row of townhouses. Her place shares a fence with our condo complex. A cat lives with her. Like most cats, he seems to enjoy his alone time. When the fancy takes him, he wanders off to find a nice place in the sun where he can chill out, or watch the birdies or squirrels with gleeful malice in his eye. Since he's a cat, property lines mean little to him - just a fence or wall to get around or through or over.

The neighbor seems to have serious control issues with the cat. When he wanders out of her yard, she starts freaking out. She'll spend, this is not an exaggeration, over an hour standing outside calling his name and making a chirping whistle that is so annoying and penetrating it's a wonder she hasn't been shot with a pellet gun. I can't count how many of my lazy afternoon naps she has ruined with her insanely annoying whistle and calling. The times when she can see where the cat has wandered off to, she'll go fetch him. And since she needs to get the cat, property lines mean little to her. I've seen her in my own back yard trying to get the cat to come back home with her, but she was there and gone so quickly I didn't have time to raise a fuss. I did make sure the loose board in the fence got repaired though.

Today she was having another kitty-is-gone freakout. He was in a yard over next to ours somewhere. Her place is higher up the hill, so it wasn't too much effort for her to climb up on the garage roof to chase him down. But he freaked out and raised a very loud hissy fit, which got a lot of us looking out our windows. Some other neighbor had some words with her, to the effect of, "You shouldn't be on their property, the owner has told you that before." She replied, "I'm getting my cat." He said, "You still shouldn't be there." She said, "Fuck off, you moron!" Neighbors, aren't they wonderful?

If wandering kitty had been in some sort of distress, I could understand that she might feel she was justified in trespassing to come to his aid. Or if we were out in the burbs or country where people have more space and don't care so much about casual incursion. But the cat was fine. She just can't stand the cat being out of her yard. There was no urgency, and no justification for trespassing, especially when that owner had told her before not to do it.

Bitch should get a dog. But then he'd probably just bark all the time.
23rd-Oct-2007 03:11 am (UTC)
Someone should kidnap the cat and luv it in a way that is NOT COMPLETELY CRAZY.

Cats are pretty dumb. I mean they can figure shit out, but please.. I'd say the cat would be a nervous wreck indoors with her, but it probably ignores her just as fine in there.
23rd-Oct-2007 03:16 am (UTC)
I have a sad vision of her forcing the cat to sit on her lap while she strokes it obsessively all day long. Some day I'll hear the ambulances out back and look out my window to see the cat perched on the fence licking the blood from its paws.
23rd-Oct-2007 04:19 am (UTC)
shit, you have more patience than I do.
23rd-Oct-2007 05:00 am (UTC)
oh, that's cat's gonna cut her one day.
23rd-Oct-2007 05:11 am (UTC)
I live in hope.
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