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my big book of little catastrophes
I ate WHAT?
random funny memory 
25th-Mar-2005 04:22 pm
grope
[Warning, this post is rated NC-17 for sexual content and brief nudity.]

This happened at the gym a few years ago, back when I worked out with a personal trainer. My trainer was straight, but the gym most definitely was not. He didn't mind though, and loved all the gossip and stories about carryings-on. But once I finally got to see him speechless at, well, read on...

One day I was in the lockers changing before my workout, and ran into my friend Jeff who was also getting changed. When Jeff stripped down it was pretty obvious he wasn't wearing his usual PA ring, but instead had a small padlock in his piercing. I asked if his boyfriend had locked him up, and he said yes, since his boyfriend was out of town for a week he'd locked Jeff up to keep him out of trouble. Now, Jeff was into pretty kinky shit, so a padlock in his cock wasn't so much a big deal. However, he said it was literally a pain when he got hard, so no jerking off even during the week. Poor boy.

Cut to a half hour later. I'm working on dumbbells doing bent standing rows or curls or something like that. Jeff parks himself at the bench next to mine, says hi to me and the trainer and gets to work. At that moment, the front desk guy (who used to share a place with Jeff) walks into the room carrying these three foot long bolt cutters that they used to remove locks left on lockers overnight. Jeff and I notice guy with bolt cutter at same time he notices Jeff and starts heading over like he means business. Jeff and I both die laughing.

Trainer is of course not in on the joke and wonders what kind of idiots we are that we are in tears over a dumb bolt cutter. "Did I miss something? What's so funny?" I nod to Jeff, and Jeff hauls out his big, pierced wang to show trainer the padlock, right there in the middle of the gym floor. Trainer looks like Wiley Coyote when his eyes roll over like spinning blinds and he needs to pick his jaw up off the ground. He spent about 10 seconds not being able to say anything at all, and after that was only marginally coherent. Totally ruined the rest of my workout too!
Comments 
26th-Mar-2005 12:43 am (UTC)
very funny story, thanks for sharing.
26th-Mar-2005 06:02 am (UTC)
ha ha - niice!
26th-Mar-2005 07:56 am (UTC)
Only in San Francisco...
27th-Mar-2005 09:01 pm (UTC)
ouch!
28th-Mar-2005 04:20 pm (UTC)
Excellent. I love the outgoingness of Jeff. Thanks!!
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