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my big book of little catastrophes
I ate WHAT?
22nd-Jul-2004 11:07 pm
Some days I feel like my life is being written by a hack writer with a bad sense of humor. Lately he's been trying his hand at romantic comedy, but of the Fox Network variety. Let's see, in the last 24 hours, I've...

...been stood up by a guy I've been talking about going on a date with for months.

...found out he actually had a really good reason, and wants to make it up to me.

...met a cute geek who has some potential, though he kisses like a car wreck.

...found out my mad crush of a few months ago is back in town. Then I ran into him literally right in front of my doorstep coming home from work, and he was so glad to see me he almost bounced. He totally wants to do all the same things I was going to suggest to him. Sweet! I really like this guy, it's just too bad he and I are heading in such different directions.

It seems these days I'm riding the pogo stick of love. Hmm, that didn't sound like what I meant. Lets stick with roller-coaster. Anyway, I'm getting annoyed at all these ups and downs. I don't need a zillion guys in my life driving me crazy. I want one guy to focus on.

But who's it gonna be?
23rd-Jul-2004 07:55 am (UTC)
the juggle is a pain. why do them come in droves, and then not at all? its hard to figure out which ones are worth trying to get to know when they are all banging on the door at the same time...

but cheers and good luck!
23rd-Jul-2004 12:20 pm (UTC)
Well, it's not like I have droves banging on my door. It just goes back and forth from none to too many. Can't I get someone to adjust the gain on my social life?
23rd-Jul-2004 12:23 pm (UTC)
if you find em, send em my way for some east coast adjustment too
23rd-Jul-2004 11:18 am (UTC) - feast? or famine?

hrm... i wonder which of the two would be preferable...

personally, i think that it's high time these men finally started to inundate your life with goodness and hope and possibility! having a few to sift through and then settle on the One you'd like to focus on, though... well, still, I think it's better than not having any to soft through as possibilities.

you have my best/well wishes for a good guy to be with! =)
23rd-Jul-2004 12:18 pm (UTC) - Re: feast? or famine?
Yeah, I'd rather have a feast where I can be picky than a famine where I've no options. I'm just not cut out for juggling a lot of guys. I have a hard time splitting my attention. I'm that way at a buffet too - I find the dish I like and eat a lot of that. Oh that reminds me, when are we gonna go get some good dim-sum? =)
23rd-Jul-2004 12:30 pm (UTC) - FOCUS! FOCUS!
Funny how for some things, a narrow focus helps, and for other things, a narrow focus hinders...

I've had similar drove-problems in the past. I'd be having them this weekend, but I now understand that the feeling to choose and rank suitors had two detrimental consequences, in addition to the difficult decision: I would distance myself from the runners-up, and, my behavior would change quickly from "just having fun" to "seriously intense" with the 'winner'. Especially focused since I was aware that I was giving up the others, for no particular reason.

What happened each time is that the winner was not interested in the serious nevie, and many went to none very quickly.

I understand now that it doesn't serve me well to make it a competition; there is no real requirement to choose, and too intense of a focus can be a turn-off to the subject.



23rd-Jul-2004 01:19 pm (UTC) - Re: FOCUS! FOCUS!
I think everyone missed the point of the post. It's not that I have more boys than I know what to do with or that I have to choose one or something like that. It's that my love life is careening from nothing to too much, and I'd like it to be more balanced. Extremes drive me nuts!
23rd-Jul-2004 02:22 pm (UTC) - Re: FOCUS! FOCUS!
I'm sorry if I misinterpretted what's happening; I'll explain my thinking.

I thought that you felt you had to choose one because of your statement "but who's it gonna be?". Before that, a statement "I want one guy to focus on." This seemed to be tied to "a zillion guys driving me crazy". lead me to conclude that you felt there was a difficult choice to be made at the time of writing, and that your most preferred situation was one guy to focus on.

Here are some other assumptions that I may have been mistaken on:

I assumed that there was little or no purposeful intent on the part of guys you mention to literally drive you crazy.

I assumed that you were taking action towards what you desired, which was "one guy to focus on", which was chosing one guy to focus on.

I assumed that you weren't really being driven crazy, but just faced with a difficult, uncertain choice to make.

And, my biggest assumption was that all this thinking about what you're going to do with in an imaginary future situation might be really causing reduced enjoyment of your current situation.

Does this help clarify where I got mixed up?


25th-Jul-2004 11:31 am (UTC) - Re: FOCUS! FOCUS!
I guess that helps, but I wasn't really in extremis trying to figure it out. My jounaling is about 75% for myself, so I don't worry too much if people don't understand it.
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